4 Ways to Keep Your Cool When You’re Married to a Hypochondriac
4 Ways to Keep Your Cool When You’re Married to a Hypochondriac
Being in a relationship with a hypochondriac entails more than just putting up with "the man cold." When he gets dust in his eye and has to go to the ER. Or when someone ELSE'S diagnosis of hypothyroidism sends her racing to the doctor for a complete panel of bloodwork. Or when your child's playground scratch prompts him to look up "Tetanus vaccinations for toddlers" on the internet. However, there is a medium ground between feeding into someone's never-ending, worried cycle of illnesses and dismissing their suffering completely (not cool). And yes, there are methods to have a good relationship with a worrier. Let's see how many there are.
KNOW THAT HE’S NOT FAKING
Hypochondria, also known as "heightened sickness worry" or "Illness Anxiety Disorder," is a real mental problem, a type of OCD that's typically linked to anxiety and sadness, and it affects one out of every 20 people in the United States. If you can see his panic episodes over phantom brain tumors and "My arm is tingling so I'm in cardiac arrest" leaps of reasoning as signs of a genuine sickness — but not the ones he's certain he has — you might be able to empathize with him.
SET BOUNDARIES
Spending all of your time with someone who wants constant reassurance while also worrying that he could be gravely ill this time can be quite difficult. If his regular practitioners see no reason to be concerned, it's critical to refer your spouse to a mental health specialist. You may aid him by reminding him — repeatedly — that his symptoms have a psychological component. It isn't necessary to dwell on and debate them endlessly.
"Encourage [the individual who is suffering] to express their concerns about their health, but don't join in." Be encouraging, but don't be overly concerned, and keep your responses impartial. Experts advise, "Express that you understand their difficulty without promoting their obsessive thinking." It's okay to shift the issue once you've heard him out.
PROTECT YOURSELF
"One little-known fact about hypochondriacs is that we don't simply convince ourselves we have food allergies, epilepsy, and alien hand syndrome (yes, it exists)." Nikki Moustaki, a novelist, once remarked, "We are pleased to persuade others they do, too." Those who are romantically involved with hypochondriacs are the most susceptible to infection. If your partner's constant worries are affecting your thinking, get help from a mental health professional or a friend. The same techniques you use to help kids cope with anxiety—differentiating feelings from facts, breathing exercises—might assist you as well.
LOVE IS THE BEST MEDICINE
Some specialists believe hypochondriasis is a hereditary condition. Others believe it is triggered by a family catastrophe or a personal loss. In any case, if your spouse had the ability to manage it, he or she would. "Unfortunately, when dealing with someone who has sickness anxiety, individuals often become impatient and even act condescending or dismissive," says one mental health professional. "However, acknowledging the misery it causes and kindly encouraging the worried person to get therapy is far more beneficial." It is critical that family members or close friends assist the worried individual in getting better."
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