On Jealousy in Relationships
On Jealousy in Relationships
"Jealousy has existed alongside love from the beginning of time."
Jealousy has existed alongside love from the beginning of time. It is a key and recurring motif in numerous films, novels (Shakespeare referred to it as the green-eyed monster), and other forms of art throughout history. Jealousy is also a prevalent theme in the Bible.
Consider Cain and Abel, Adam's two sons. In a jealous rage, Cain murdered his younger brother. Perhaps not as romantic to talk about or express if you have it, but it is something we all feel—to some extent—but prefer to stay silent about. When we become obsessed with the pervasive notion that we lack things, we gradually lose sight of what we already have and become ungrateful for those blessings.
"When we become obsessed with the concept that we don't have enough, we lose sight of what we already have and become ungrateful for the gifts we have been given."
Let's start with a definition of jealousy: resentment of someone who has achieved success or advantage, or the dread of losing something you believe is yours (rightly or incorrectly) to someone else—your spouse, best friend, etc. “Jealousy is an anticipating emotion,” explains Ralph Hupka, a professor of psychology at California State University. Its goal is to avoid loss."
"Perhaps he'll fall in love with his cheery receptionist and abandon me," "She's having lunch with her ex-boyfriend, indicating that she's still interested in him," “When he gets home, he'll tell me he wants a divorce,” she predicts.
“Of course she'll get the job!” "She's such a snoop..." Whatever movie we've concocted in our imaginations, we'll always be able to find people or situations to help us tell it. What's the narrative you're telling yourself? Do you think you're unlovable and that your spouse will soon figure it out? What is the source of your sentiments of enmity?
"Jealousy is the fastest way to destroy a relationship."
Nobody likes a jealous partner, sibling, coworker, or friend, and no one loves being jealous or acting out their jealously in strange and nasty ways. Jealousy is the fastest way to destroy a relationship. The issue that keeps coming up is, "How can we overcome it?"
Solution 01 - COMMUNICATION
Because no one can read your mind, be emotionally intelligent with yourself first and those who are important to you. If you're feeling envious, be honest with yourself about your motivations.
Do you believe you are better deserving of your new job? Do you have reason to suspect your boyfriend is cheating? Have you ever been dumped? We are frequently oblivious of what is going on unconsciously.
It is up to you to identify and address the source of your insecurity. Don't keep it hidden—it doesn't have to be a profound secret that you keep.
Solution 2: TRUST
Jealousy stems from a lack of faith in the process of life, in your relationship, and in yourself. Lack of trust promotes insecurity, which produces jealousy;
we suppress these emotions because they are unpleasant. It's a vicious spiral, and as long as our thoughts and energies are focused on what we could lose, that's exactly what will happen. The cold, hard reality of jealousy is as follows: It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
"It's a vicious cycle, and as long as our minds and energies are firmly focused on what we could lose, that's exactly what will happen."
Solution 3: TAKE ACTION
It's critical that we stop focusing on what we don't have and instead shift our focus to the truth that our wishes may and can manifest themselves via our everyday activities. "How are we spending our days?" is the major question and painful reality.
What we want should be a source of inspiration, giving us the strength, drive, and capacity to strive toward and achieve it (no matter how big or small).
If the green-eyed monster appears, remember that if we utilize envy to motivate ourselves to achieve our goals, it can be a very powerful weapon.
Instead of being tortured with jealousy, channel this strong energy into something that will help you get more of what you want and less of what you think you lack.
"We do not have to become our emotions; they are merely what we feel."
We do not have to become our emotions; they are merely what we feel. Consider the jealousy you're experiencing as a sign that something in you deserves your attention; bring it to your attention and utilize it to effect good change in your relationships with yourself or those closest to you.
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